


Not the Life I Dreamt Of

by NevermorePinocchio



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, patater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22533181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NevermorePinocchio/pseuds/NevermorePinocchio
Summary: Kent is awakened by the sound of loud Russian swearing, but nothing could have prepared him for the reason why. How did this become his life? And the even better question, why is he so flipping happy about it.
Relationships: Alexei "Tater" Mashkov & Kent "Parse" Parson, Alexei "Tater" Mashkov/Kent "Parse" Parson, Past Kent ‘Parse’ Parson/Jack Zimmermann
Comments: 12
Kudos: 118





	Not the Life I Dreamt Of

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so this is just a really short and sweet Patater one shot inspired by a meme my girlfriend sent to me. Hope it makes someone laugh as much as it did us :)  
> This was not beta’d so sorry for any typos.

Kent yawned and rolled over groggily, stretching his arms above his head and kicking at the sheet wrapped around his legs. Lex liked to tell him that he lived too long alone with Kit and that he was actually more cat than person, when he stretched in the bed like this. He would be more upset about it if it was anyone except Lex saying it, but one, he had been compared to a lot worse than a cat and two, why wouldn’t he want to be more like Kit? She was the best. Plus, he knew Lex thought that it was cute, even if he chirped him about it.  
As his mind circled around Alexei, something that happened embarrassingly often if he was honest, but luckily he didn’t have to admit to anyone, he reached his left arm over to his boyfriend’s side of the ridiculously large, cal-king size bed that was excessive even for two large hockey player, but found nothing but cold sheets. Forced to investigate further, he peeled his eyes open and found that he was in fact alone. Alexei was impressively stealthy when he wanted to be, especially for such a large man who gave off serious Great Dane puppy energy.  
He must have decided to get up early and get in a workout, Kent knew that he should probably do the same, at least hit the treadmill for some good cardio, but his flight had gotten in at 1:30 this morning, which meant he and Lex didn’t get to sleep till well past 3. Maybe he had given his boyfriend too much credit for being stealthy, he had probably just been dead to the world. Fuck it! He would get back to his usual off season training tomorrow. He rolled back over, snagging a pillow from Alexei’s side of the bed and burying his face in it before quickly falling back to sleep.  
_/ _/ \\_ \\_  
“Schas po ebalu poluchish, suka, blyad!” Echoed loudly from the attached bathroom and woke Kent from his semi restful sleep an unknown amount of time later.  
“Пиздец! Сука!”  
Kent didn’t speak much Russian. He had bought Rosetta Stone when they had started dating, but only stuck to it for about 2 weeks, before the pre season started, and he forgot about it. He kept telling himself that he was going to take an actual class but it still hadn’t happened yet. The Russian he did know was primarily centered around swears and sexual innuendo, and all of the sounds coming from the bathroom were words he normally only heard when on the receiving end of bad checks from other teams. Luckily, that kind of venom had only been pointed at him once from his Russian, and they had been fucking regularly ever since so it was rather a fond memory now, even if it had been rather frightening at the time. Still, he was curious enough to find out what was currently the target of Lex’s anger to crawl out of his warm, comfy nest.  
He shuffled into the doorway, rubbing absently at his eyes to be greeted with the site of his very large boyfriend, in jogging shorts and running shoes, scrubbing violently at his hands in the sink, his shirt tossed who knows where and still aiming vitriol, far be in a little quieter than a few minutes ago. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, as he caught Lex’s eyes, his hair was even more of a mess than usual, but that really wasn’t a surprise, ever since Alexei has discovered he liked his hair pulled, he always looked thoroughly wrecked in the mornings.  
“Haven’t heard some of those words since the last time I scored a hatty against Ovechkin, did the treadmill insult your mother or something?”  
Alexie glared daggers at Kent in the mirror, god he should not be this attractive pissed off.  
“Nyet! Went for run with Zimmboni this morning, new park by their new place. ‘It’ll be fun, Tater’ ‘Good get fresh air in off season’ no tell me there be angry, nesting birds! No tell me to look out for ...for … Сука! COBRA CHICKEN!”  
Kent couldn’t hold it in any longer, he doubled over in laughter.  
“Not funny, Parsnip! Raise wings up high! Hiss and bite!!” He pantomimed the action before putting his bleeding finger in front of Kent’s face. This did nothing to quell his laughter, much to Alexei continued distress.  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He finally managed between laughs, “but cobra chicken?! Babe that is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”  
“Is serious! I’m not know right word, but big, like swan, but with black head! I not know birds could make such sound. Like Kit when I accidentally drop banana on floor”  
“OH! It must have been a Canadian Goose! Those fuckers are mean.”  
“We’re not in Canada! This Rhode Island! Why angry north bird here? Is this why they no attack Zimmboni?”  
The fire left Alexei with his last question, and now he just looked genuinely confused. His big brown eyes were impossibly big as his eyebrows turned down in his confusion. For so many years, he had been sure that his life would never be right, never be complete unless he came home at night to very different, very sad, icy, blue eyes, but standing here, in the bathroom, dwarfed by a giant, half naked and swearing Russian, he wasn’t sure why he’d ever wanted anything else.  
_I love him_. The thought struck him so clean and clearly, he almost took a step back but instead he simply reached up and kissed the question off his boyfriends lips. It might not have been the life he’d dreamt of, but for the first time ever, he was certain, reality was better than any fantasy he could have ever imagined.  
“I love you,” he said, before he could psyche himself out of it. He and Alexei has been together for more than a year, but he had never said it. Alexei stilled under his hand and pulled away in shock, his eyes filled with awe and a wide smile overtook his face. Kent realized he lived for that smile, the world never seemed right when Lex wasn’t smiling.  
“I’m being in love with you too, Kotchek! Was scared to say, not want rush you, but yes, loving you very much!” He grabbed Kent around the waste spun him around, like he wasn’t 180 lbs of hockey player. He went to cup Kent’s face with his hands, but pulled back with a hiss of his own and looked treacherously down at his injured finger.  
“Want me to kiss it, and make it better?” Alexei looked up at him a little confused but offered out his hurt finger nonetheless. Kent gently kissed it.  
“Not sure that do anything, Solynishko.” he replied with an incredulous eyebrow raise.  
“You sure?” Kent replied with a sly grin, “Guess I’ll just have to kiss something else ….”


End file.
